sad

well, i think that i might know what it's like to be depressed. usually i'm just anxious, but that hasn't been the case over the past few days. my days with zach are dwindling. it is now my job to drop him off at daycare in the morning. there are three jobs that i would consider worse than mine right now.

1. soldier in iraq
2. sanitation officer
3. coal miner

i've been lethargic every afternoon since i've dropped him off. monday and tuesday. am i sad because of the change in my life or is it because i dislike daycare? maybe both.

my friend laura went with me today. i asked her to come for support. i was concerned about whether or not i should stay with him for a bit, but his teacher always tells me to go ahead and leave. it was helpful to have laura's encouraging words as we drove away. what was hard today is that zach was crying for me. his caregiver, whom he trusts, was dropping him off at this unfamiliar place AGAIN. are there any good things about daycare that i need to know about?

i have to remember that it's only the third day of this. hopefully it'll get better.